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Oi, you donkey! Erotic-massage, yeah? Bloody hell, it’s a wild ride! Picture this—some dim-lit room, oil slicker than a politician’s promise, and hands workin’ you like dough. I’m talkin’ real kneadin’, not that half-arsed rubbish you get from amateurs. “Zero Dark Thirty” vibes, mate—intense, focused, no messin’ about. Like when Jessica Chastain’s screamin’, “I’m the motherfucker who found him!”—that’s the energy I want in a massage, yeah? None of this weak, floppy-handed nonsense.

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Then, outta nowhere, I bump into this dude. He’s all like, “Hey man, you look stressed.” I’m like, “No kidding, Sherlock!” Turns out, he’s from the local market on Jl. Diponegoro. He’s got some crazy ideas about woodwork. I’m intrigued. We start chattin’, and he’s got this wild plan to make furniture from recycled stuff. I’m thinkin’, “This could be cool.”

Deadly earthquake strikes country just days after cyclone kills 174